rabbits tomatoes and problems
by Romantic Egoist
Summary: "Sasuke, you have a problem."  Sakura said with all the confidence she had in her eight year old body.  AU and CRACKFIC   Please BEWARE


**Summary**: "Sasuke, you have a problem." Sakura said with all the confidence she had in her eight year old body. [Crackfic; BEWARE]

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Naruto.

**XxX**

"**Hello people who are reading to what I have to say. I am...drum roll please..."**

BRUM

BRUM

BRUM

BRUM

BRUM...

[Cue: wind machine and spotlight.]

"**SASUKE UCHIHA!"**

[Cue: dramatic slow motion hair flip and a sparkling shining smile.]

[Cue: random females fainting at my presence.]

Now, why would I, the most amazing, gorgeous, and smartest kid in grade two be sitting on this pink beanbag at **my** adorable, lovely, sweet Sakura Haruno's house? Oh, of course! I remember now! It started off like this...

[Cue: FLASHBACK!]

**Two Days Ago...**

I, being the good boy I was, was sitting at my table with my wonderful bucket of crayons. You know...the normal colours that belong to the rainbow. SKITTLES, oh bless the maker of skittles. Ahem, moving on. My class was doing some agri-...agric-...this assignment that required us to draw a picture of food that farmers grow. I had drawn gorgeous potato heads, beautiful ripe tomato (BOB THE TOMATO, I LOVE YOU AND YOUR GOD TEACHING WAYS) and my not ugly orange coloured carrots. It was a happy and joyful experience until...

"Oi, SASUKE! WHATCHA DOING?" An ugly bright coloured monster screamed at me.

"The assignment the teacher gave us. Did you even start it dead last?"

"Oh THAT! Not yet, but guess what I drew...?"

I cannot believe I looked up from my beautiful drawing to see his ugly face in an even ugly smile. I could tell he had a paper in his puggy hands, trying to hide it behind his brightly coloured clothing. I didn't even have to ask when a picture of a...bird...alligator...serpent was rudely shoved into my handsome face. A look of disgust was all that I had on my flawless face.

"What...is...that?"

His eyes almost bulged out. His mouth was wide open. I hope a fly goes in and he swallows it. But sadly that did not happen. What did happen though was complete damage to my ear drums.

"DUDE, IT'S A FLIPPIN RABBIT! A WHITE FUZZY CUTE RABBIT! GOODNESS, IT WILL EAT YOUR TOMATOES! NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM!"

Oh. My. Gosh. He wrecked my beautiful drawing.

Wait...rabbits eat...TOMATOES!

Ah readers don't fret yet, there's more to this horrible day. After I got scolded by the red headed teacher, I went up to Sakura, wanting to say goodbye to her, only, to get IGNORED. I was rejected. Okay fine, she didn't reject me. Or maybe I'm just in complete denial. NOT THE POINT. I went home, had family dinner by myself and slept in my room; HOPING AND PRAYING THAT TOMORROW WOULD BE A BETTER DAY FOR ME.

It was horrible. MY DREAM WAS A NIGHTMARE!

**Back To The Present...**

"So, Sasuke. What seems to be the problem?" Sakura's so cute when she tries to be smart...

"I had a dream last night...or rather a nightmare."

"Hm...so what was your nightmare about?" I heard scribbling, and looked up at her. She's dressed in her cute white top, and black shorts. She had reading glasses on a chain, and she looked just ADORABLE normal.

"Last night, I had a dream. There I was farming my wonderful farm of vegetables. There were potatoes, carrots and lovely tomatoes. It was a beautiful day; the sun was shining and such. Then out of no where...this white fuzzy thing came out. It was a...RABBIT. It was a white ugly fuzzy rabbit with red beady little eyes and a pink nose. I stopped my farming and had an eye to eye battle with it. Of course I won, but the moment our eyes lost contact the ugly rabbit sprung and gobbled up all my tomatoes."

Pretty Sakura stopped her writing and was about to respond but I was not done yet.

"I wasn't done with my nightmare. After he started hopping away, I chased after it! It was fast, but of course, I was faster. When I caught up with the criminal, Santa Claus was blocking the road so the rabbit couldn't hop away. There I was, in a showdown with the rabbit, when suddenly he took out a water gun and aimed it at SANTA CLAUS. SAKURA DON'T YOU SEE, THAT RABBIT KILLED SANTA CLAUS AND ATE MY TOMATOES!"

A black crow cawing with dots following behind it flew across the screen.

"Sasuke, you have a problem." Sakura said with all the confidence she had in her eight year old body. "So, you will see my twice every week after school at my house."

Blink. Smile. Smirk.

"Fine, but I think I should see you every day after school to get over this problem quicker."

"Okay fine, I'll see you tomorrow then Sasuke-kun!"

"**Now people, who are reading this, please understand. I was not tricking Sakura with my problem, I actually had a dream about this...but I never finished. You see, at the end of my dream, after Santa Claus gets killed (I love you Santa Claus!), beyond that was Sakura picking up the rabbit and smiling at me. This concludes that the rabbit was never evil and it was leading me to Sakura. But more importantly, my problem was I didn't spend enough time with Sakura which led me to dream about her."**

"**GOOD DAY, GOOD NIGHT, AU REVOIR!"**

**Your one and only gorgeous eight years old,**

**Sasuke Uchiha.**

[Cue: THE END!]

**XxX**

A/N: I wrote this when I was high off marshmallows, but seriously guys, I actually had this dream (but it was about carrots instead of tomatoes. I ended up with writer's block which leads to me to apologize to my Harry Potter fans out there, because my oneshot with VK/HG and HG/DM won't be up for a rather long time. But thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed it !


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